It Hurts

Hey.

Today, I just feel really… sad.

A lot of things are building up, and it continued to make me feel worse and worse.

First starting with the “talk” my family had, which made everyone start to look at me differently, and some started to dislike me.

Following that, some people treated me like actual trash, or just ignored me.

Then school. It sucks. It just really sucks.

Now, my mom wants to take me to therapy, along with my brother and sister (individually). I went yesterday. They took notes about me to see what therapist would be best. The lady who took the notes knew what she was doing, but I didn’t like her personality. She was really rough and impatient when asking questions.

Other than that, let’s talk about busses, because I hate them. I HATE taking the bus home. Everyone is in a crowd and in a rush to get on.

And with my anxiety, which no one really thinks about, it’s really scary and hard. This is what I hate, no one takes note of that.

Everyone thinks that I can do anything. But no, my anxiety makes everything hard. I’m not a “big boy”, I have a brain of a 5-year-old. I can’t do it. I really can’t. It’s too hard. I have a mini panic attack everyday.

BUT no one seems to notice that. Everyone thinks I’m just lazy and I don’t want to do it. But it’s because I literally can’t without my heart popping out of my chest.

It’s annoying. Everyone still thinks that I’m perfectly fine with being 1 hour away from home. It’s so hard. I hate everything right now.

I wish someone could at least pick me up from school, but my dad can’t do that all the time. I don’t even have one person to rely on anymore. I feel alone.

Theres nothing else really. Sorry for blasting my feelings. It just happens.

Thanks for reading.

Bye.

7 thoughts on “It Hurts

  1. Jake Daum says:

    I just started having anxiety issues and it’s awful. I always look for distractions.

    For your bus issue…is it too far to walk? You’ll get exercise and avoid those anxiety causing scenarios.

    Public transportation, if available, is also a less “busy” alternative in some cases.

    Liked by 1 person

    • barelyali says:

      I’ve gotten things under control. I was pretty messy when I wrote this 😂 But my high school is an hour away by bus, so it’s a long way from home. I would rather walk to school than take transportation, but I really have no choice in this case.

      Like

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