I Can’t Make Up My Mind – Teenager Things

After a therapeutic summer, I started to feel more like myself again. I felt so fresh. I just felt so “okay”, like I was truly happy with my life. I loved my friends, family, and even school started to be something I looked forward to. However, I’m starting to fall down a hole all teenagers do; love.

Just as a preface, I’m kind of gay. Well, maybe bisexual. I’m not really sure to be honest. It’s not important, but it’s something to address. So, there’s a guy that I’ve liked for almost a year now, but now I actually started to… feel things. It’s like, I’m actually taking steps towards possibly having a relationship, and it’s really stressful. I’ve always thought that teenagers falling in love was dumb. But, I’m a teenager, and I don’t want to discourage what’s natural.

I’ve told my small group (3) of friends about my crush, and they’ve really been making an effort to help me out. They invited to him to our club, GSA (Gay Straight Alliance), which confirmed the possibility of a relationship, and helped me talk to him from time to time, but that’s really it.

Even though it may be kind of early, I just want to tell him how I feel already. I keep thinking about him and I’m annoyed at myself. Problem is, I literally can’t push myself do it. I scared of messing up any sort of relationship because I don’t think my expectations are reasonable. I’m just kind of grossed out. I’ve never felt this scared before.

This is the last week I can ask him until break, and I just want to get it over with. I honestly don’t think it would be the most bizarre thing if someone could start to like me, I think it’s more of “is this guy even interested in the whole dating thing in general?”. I just don’t want to scare him, it seems that it’s gonna be a first for both of us.

So even though my friends and I agreed that it wouldn’t be the worst idea to tell him, I would like some advice. What should I do? I know this is kind of weird, but I would really appreciate it.

Ali.


Painting: https://www.daryllpeirce.com/p/work.html?m=1

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