The Devil in My Home (In the Least Dramatic Way Possible)

Let’s get this straight. I’m not the person to accuse someone. I don’t get angry, and I let a lot things slide. But this time, I’m furious, and it’s because of my mess of an older sister.

I don’t like blowing things out of proportion, but she really ruined my life. It started being this way earlier this year. You can read all about it in Doesn’t feel like Summer where I hit my lowest low so far.

I never got an apology for anything she did. She ruined a trip that was supposed to be a birthday present, and just kind of left us. She left a hole in my heart and really broke me. However, ever since she left I really rebuilt myself and I’m in such a better place now… until she came crawling back in October.

At first, I was mad. There was no way I was letting someone who completely turned my life upside down back into my home where I was starting to feel better. That first day she came back, I confronted her, but in the midst of it I was worried about possibly bringing up “triggering” subjects, so I only talked about her weed ordeal and how she smoked it all over the house while I had to breathe it in everyday. I didn’t want to bring up how she put in me in a bad place and how I never got an apology.

Despite this, we became “friends” and I kind of forgot about our unfinished business.

She had to share my room. It was rough in the beginning, but I just had to suck it up. She would tell me about her issues and I just had to listen all the time. I never brought up any of my issues because when I tried to she would make me feel bad for doing so in the first place (she was kind of dismissing my issues and brought up her own). Love, work, family, she told me everything. I was always there for her, she even told me that herself.

Which brings me to today. I came up to her to the morning to help me out with my skin, I had a mini breakout and needed some advice (it’s fine now lol). She told me:

I only help people that deserve it…

I was a little taken aback, but she told me that I was being mean to her recently.

I know I was a little hard on her because she wasn’t paying any of her old credit card bills, so I was critiquing her for vaping all the time out of anger and disappointment, and I question her determination in getting enough money to move out. However, I always had a good intention in mind. She was so lucky for my parents to take her back in despite how she treated us in the past, but she’s still rotting and making no progress in getting back on her feet. Sure she has a job, but that’s not enough based on her remarks on having to share a room and wanting to move out so bad. If she really feels that way, she should be hustling.

Besides that, haven’t I been caring for her like a baby these past months? I’ve been by her side 24/7 putting my own personal issues on the side, including everything that went down in Mexico, just to have her dump me just because of possibly offensive things I said once or twice? Do you know what I mean? Does she really care about me, or is she willing to make a kid feel bad just because they don’t agree with her ways? I don’t think she understand how much she put me through this year. She’s so focused on her own life, which is understandable, but I have emotions too.

It’s a never ending “pity game” with her, always making everyone feel bad for her instead of picking herself up. I’m so done with it. I’m not a psychiatrist in any way, but she’s borderline crazy.

I don’t care anymore. She can rot on the street if that’s how she wants to treat me. She was forcing me to apologize, but did I ever asked her to apologize for ruining our families trip (a birthday gift by the way) and leaving us in the dark worried sick that she was dead somewhere, just to come back and play the same mental games?

Hey I know I’m really fuming over this, but she even called me a bitch on my birthday (it was a little over a week ago). She didn’t say happy birthday to my twin sister, so I confronted her about it, and she didn’t even feel bad. She always makes me and everyone seem like we’re against her.

Oh my god, it’s tiring, you wouldn’t believe it. No sixteen year old needs to deal with that in their lives ever.

I pray to god that she gets better and gets her life together. I’m tired of her behavior and think my family is too.

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