I think it’s a known fact by now that I do not like to go to school. I’ve found some aspects of it to be enjoyable over time, like hanging out with my friends and doing extracurricular activities. However, I still get tired of waking up at 5:25 in the morning to get to school at a time I want. It’s not “scary” to go to school. like it was for me freshmen year, it’s just annoying.
This post was originally supposed to be about how much my few couple of days were kind of sucking, and how I thought the first couple of hours of my September 12th, 2019 was just that.
I really thought going into senior year would be fun and carefree, but I’m actually kind of feeling as I did when I first entered high school.
Wow, I didn’t realize that I would have to start thinking about what I was going to do with my life.
Today has been very, very interesting… in a bad way.
To make it short, I kind of had a breakdown/panic attack which I haven’t had in a long time. I’m not the type to showcase my emotions and lose control over them often so it was unusual that I did.
I use to have extreme anxiety. I was always anxious about an upcoming test, a lengthy homework assignment, or having to do anything outside of my comfort zone. My mood could be turned all the way around just because of a new task I was faced with. All I could think about is what I had to do and I would only be relived once I completed it. This would lead to some unreasonable choices that wouldn’t benefit me in the end.
To begin with, I wouldn’t say I was robbed, or at least I was robbed in the way you wouldn’t normally think of. I wasn’t jumped and forced to give up my belongings, rather I poorly secured my belongings, allowing excuses of people to scavenge through them.
Let me explain.
Without falling into another depression again, I told the guy I liked about how I felt. It was early in the morning, he was sitting at a table with no one around. I decided to go up to him
After a therapeutic summer, I started to feel more like myself again. I felt so fresh. I just felt so “okay”, like I was truly happy with my life. I loved my friends, family, and even school started to be something I looked forward to. However, I’m starting to fall down a hole all teenagers do; love.
I know I haven’t been blogging as often, which is pretty disappointing because I wanted to blog a lot during the summer. However, I couldn’t let this important day pass. Though it seems small, today marks the 2nd anniversary of my blog.